26

I celebrated my birthday this past Saturday with a small group of closest friends. They gathered from all over Israel for a barbecue at Tel Aviv's Park HaYarkon. I had a wonderful time; it felt very easy and comfortable and I understood that I was surrounded by people that I care about. Moreover, the entire day my phone was ringing non stop with warmest wishes.
On the way back to Jerusalem I couldn't help but think about the past year in my life. I looked back to September 29th, 2006 and compared it to the day I have just lived. A year ago I didn't tell anybody about my birthday and the only people that remembered were my family and a couple of friends. I felt somewhat confused and insecure about being in a different country and was just getting to know the people around me. I was alone even if I didn't fully realize it. 365 days later almost everything has changed. This undoubtedly was one of my most significant years. I studied a new language. I worked presses in a factory and felt proud for being chosen to be stuck in the toughest, dirtiest, noisiest place. I met Brazilians, Koreans, Argentinians, Brits, Kurds, Morrocans, Druze, Australians, South Africans and about 30 other nationals that now are simply Israelis. I finished TAKA. I learned to live on my own. I fell in love with Jerusalem. I got to know some of the most important people in my life that cannot be simply called "friends". They are my family. And at the same time my family members became closer to me and have become more than that. They became my friends. I started writing. I discovered for the first time what it means to be loved. In other words I fell in love for the first time also. It is a wonderful feeling. It does make everything more colorful and bright. Even though the castle in the sky came crashing down, I will never regret the time spent building it. In general I think I became better. I fought my dragons and came out of the battle tougher and stronger. I can't relax now, however. One year, regardless of how big it is, simply gets replaced by the next one. Maybe that's why it's not the best idea to make any sort of separation here. When looking at a building from the outside, we don't separate the floors, right? We look at a whole and judge its beauty and complexity from the ground up. And there's probably no need to make any judgement while the cranes are still around.
And yet, I want to emphasize this time somehow. It feels like I'm only now on a cusp of youth and adulthood. The number doesn't really matter. I'm not old, I'm not young. I don't know how to explain what I want to say but I think that I understand more about the concept of time now. There are moments when people think that they are not doing enough. That they simply cannot waste a single second because in a blink of an eye it will be too late. Maybe it's true but with such thinking isn't everything moving much faster? So many people seem to be living on some timeline. If one's behind the schedule they must be wasting their time. I know, I know, it gets tougher with years to achieve certain things but I still refuse to believe in "timeline". Easy is not always the right way. Eighteen is not the only age to start studying in a university. Nineteen is not the last opportunity to have fun. Twenty is not necessarily goodbye to childhood. Why are there these point that should have nothing to do with age? Career, marriage, house, children; does everything need to be planned out and checked against a calendar? Isn't that against our nature? Don't we eat when we're hungry, sleep when we're tired and dance when we're happy? Do we really need to consult our clocks to make sure it's the appropriate action for this second? What if we're a second early or late, don't we still have the opportunity to live just as freely? Maybe this is what I feel; I still have plenty of time to do anything. Overall, so much can change in one second... There are billions of seconds left.

My dear friends, my wonderful family, I love you fully and unconditionally. Thank you for being in my life.

My loving parents, thank you for not following time lines, for setting out on your adventure and for being my guiding light. Thank you for giving me life.