Ehud Banai

Foreword
First of all I'm sorry that I'm writing so much about music lately. However, it has become my therapy. Instead of a psychologist, I listen to music and talk to blogger.
I've been in a self discovery mode lately. Taking everyday occurrences and thinking about them too much in relation to myself. When buying a falafel on King George Street a few days ago, a sales guy took one look at me and immediately switched to English. It's one of many instances when people seem to automatically assume that I'm from the United States.

בוא הביתה
It's not darkness, not light
It's the time to return
Come home, man-bird

Lighthouse flickering
Shreds of clouds, doubt of gloom, three stars
Satellite picture blurred, twilight zone
Brink of sky you're touching
Call the bird if you hear
If you still remember those whom you miss

It's not darkness, not light
It's the time to return
Come home, man-bird

Electricity glimmering from behind the blinds, white moon, blue skies
Shadow of wing slides over the roofs of buildings
Brink of sky you're touching
Call the bird if you hear
If you still remember where you're traveling



I chose to translate this song because there was always something about it that touched me. Yesterday I saw Ehud Banai live and I finally understand it now.
The concert was in the same place as described in the previous post. However, this time, the area in front of the stage held folding chairs. Ehud Banai played an acoustic guitar along with another guitarist and the other members of the band were a violinist, drummer and a contrabass player. For some reason I couldn't get into the music initially. Other thoughts were rattling in my head. Then, as Brooklyn was played, I felt goosebumps. They haven't left until I went to sleep many hours later. Once again, I can't describe the experience. It was simply beyond words. I can't compare him with Berry because they are completely different. While Berry's music is physically felt with its raw force, Ehud's is emotional. The two are complementary and present the full realm of my connection to music.
Ehud Banai is a poet. Most of his songs have a lot of beautiful words and phrases. In some cases he does the same thing as Berry and just gives you a thought. Then he surrounds it with wonderful sound. Majority of what I heard yesterday, however, was straightforward and detailed. Unfortunately my Hebrew's not good enough to fully appreciate it. So I tried to catch some bits and pieces and was just infatuated by the voice and the overall atmosphere.
Honestly, I don't know what to say. My ramblings about this topic are childish and completely unnecessary. As much as I'd love for you to understand, you won't. Maybe because it's not about understanding words. Even if you do, you're still not here. You're not here with me. You are holding on to memories and descriptions. You're trying to assemble a picture from my words. But what I'm seeing is inside of me and how can I describe that. Why would I need to anyway?
Maybe this is where this feeling of loneliness is coming from. I'm on my own because nobody can be me instead of myself. And that's a good thing.
However, I am very grateful for having an opportunity to take this journey of self discovery. I get to step away from what I know and think about what I don't. I am privileged this way. Instead of staying on a straight road, I took a picturesque detour. And then I wondered off a bit more in search of other detours. Like most people, I think I know where I'm going and what's at the end of that road, but seems like it's more important for me to enjoy the way there. So I had to veer off. And I'm enjoying it. I really am happy.

Afterword
I didn't know where I would go when I started writing today. It seems like this post turned out to be too dark. I think that maybe it's a good thing. The darkness comes out and none is left inside. That's the point of therapy, right?